War of the Worlds
Where to start with this movie?
First of all there was 22 minutes of commercials and trailers! 22 minutes! Can you believe that? That's almost a half an hour! That's a little overboard don't you think. 22 minutes! Hey Orlando Bloom's got a new movie coming out. What? No accent? Okay I can deal with t- AH! Kirsten Dunst! Burn it! Burn it!
Okay where was I? Right.
22 minuets of previews! What were they thinking? I paid $7.50 to see 22 full minutes of commercials? This is outrageous! 10 should be the max.
So when the movie finally starts we see something about amoebas and then Tom Cruise, things aren't improving much. Apparently he's the best crate mover person. He can move 44 crates in an hour. No way! 44? Did he say 44? That's so cool! Hey half of 44 is 22, which is the amount of minutes I had to watch crap before this crap started.
Ray (Cruise) is divorced from Miranda Otto and they have two children: Dakota Fanning and a boy, but who cares. Ray has problems communicating with his children, there's a shock. Anyway, then there's a lightening storm that knocks out everything electrical, (except for, apparently, video cameras) . The lightning blasts wake up tripod things that were dormant for -if you listen to the psycho trying to take the invaders by surprise with only a shotgun, an axe, a wheelbarrow and a case of peach schnapps - a million years.
These aliens want Earth and they start eradicating humans. Apparently they can't handle the germs in our air, so they get sick and die. That's pretty much the entire movie. The rest is Cruise and Fanning running from the aliens. The movie should've been called: Cruise and Fanning, Running From Aliens. I can't believe I gave up precious Jax and Daxter playing time for this. I mean it's WAR of the worlds here people, where's the war? At least make it scientific, or something. This was really boring. If you wanted to make a drama about being a responsible father, don't parade it around as a scientific action movie.
This movie felt 'play-writer driven' as my text teacher would call it. There are so many elements that aren't believable and would never happen, but they did anyway because the writer/director/actor wanted them to happen. The working video cameras is one such instant. Robbie somehow surviving the attack and making it to Boston is another. The fact that Boston survived the massacre at all confused me. Are the aliens Red Socks fan? Maybe the curse really is broken. Not only can they win, but they also don't get invaded. Another thing; I don't get how Cruise is able to out run a tripod. It pops out of the ground and starts blasting, but he has enough time to go back home dunk his head under the water, then take his children to the only working car with the oblivious mechanic. What a stupid mechanic. Can he not see the 50 tripods of death? Aren't the running screaming people a clue? How is it a crate moving person knows more about cars and how to fix them then the car mechanic, or every other car mechanic in the invaded areas?
But the main thing I have a hard time swallowing is that these tripod gizmos were buried for thousands or even millions (if you can believe a man who has a case of peach schnapps) of years. Why did they wait so long? They've been watching us, studying us for all this time, didn't they notice we have almost no natural resources left? They couldn't take over when they first landed before the humans have screwed over the planet? I'm expected to believe there are vastly more intelligent species out there and they want our planet? The one that has the billions of tons of pollution in the land, sea and air and has a nice huge hole in the atmosphere? There's not another planet they can take over that doesn't have the equivalent of spatial herpes on it? I would've said, 'You want our planet? Take it I'll leave.'
But what really made me angry is 22 full minutes of commercials. There has to be someone we can complain to. Soon it'll be a full half an hour.
Oh right, the movie gets 3/10...go find the original, I heard it was really good.