Mighty Joe Young

We see a bunch of really tacky gorillas being observed by Dr. Ruth Young (Linda Purl) and her young daughter Jill (Mika Boorem). Jill runs off to play with a baby gorilla, Joe. Ruth can't believe it's Joe, because he's only 6 months old, but it is him. Poachers show up that night, lead by Andrei Strasser (Rade Serbedzija). They shoot Joe's mom and try to capture him, but Joe doesn't really want to be stuffed in bag and he bites off Strasser's thumb and trigger finger. Ruth is also shot while rescuing Joe and she has Jill promise to protect Joe. Man, I hate forced deathbed promises. Like the person is actually going to say no.

Twelve years later Professor Gregg O'Hara is wandering about the mountain that has a legend that keeps it protected from outsiders. He has hired men to take him up there and study the animals. On their voyage, they discover Joe, who is now the size of two full grown elephants. Joe makes it clear to them that he doesn't want them on him mountain. Most of them take the hint, but Gregg follows him and discovers the now full grown Jill (Charlize Theron). He is then dropped on his head and wakes up the in the infirmary.

Gregg wakes up and tells her that poachers will now be after Joe, but there's a place in California that Joe can be safe. Jill reluctantly agrees. She goes with them and is put in charge of Joe.  Strasser, who runs a 'zoo' that in reality sells animals parts on the black market, finds out about Joe and see Jill, who looks exactly like Ruth. So obviously, Joe is the gorilla that took his fingers. His henchman goes and sees Joe, discovering that Joe reacts violently to the sound of a type of chain that poachers use.  Jill doesn't understand why Joe is so upset and tries to get the director to postpone the fundraiser that is going to be held the next night. He says no, and Jill is pissed. As she leaves she meets Strasser who offers another home for Joe, a bigger one.

At the banquet the chain is rattled again and this time Joe breaks out of his zone and attacks the guests trying to get Strasser. He is put to sleep and placed in a cage until they can figure out what to do with him. Jill and Gregg break him out and give him to Strasser, thinking he'll be safe. After Joe is gone, Gregg discovers that chain and knows exactly what it is, he jumps into his car and heads after them. Jill, in the truck finally sees that Strasser is missing a thumb and finger, and she realizes that this is the man who killed her mom.  She jumps out of the truck and yells for Joe to do the same. He manages to tip it over and escape. He leads everybody on a merry chase and ends up in a fair where there is a fire about to destroy a Ferris wheel and a boy stuck at the top. Which makes no sense because the other two carts are empty on either side of him, and Gregg was sure everyone was off, so unless the kid decided to hide instead of getting off, when he reached the bottom, there's no way he would still be up there.

Joe kills Strasser and then saves the boy but falls and everyone thinks he's dead, but he's not and then everyone who saw his heroic death gives Jill money and they buy him an animal conservatory back in Africa. The end.

Alright, I have no more respect for my friend who told me this was a good movie.  It was terrible! It was tacky and badly acted and the plot was stupid and the bad guys were unbelievable and the list just goes on. I couldn't even sit through it all. I had to take breaks in between the worst parts or I would have never made it through.

I really hated Jill. Not only was I shocked at the lack of acting Charlize Theron showed in this movie, but also the character herself was petulant and annoying. "We can't trust him. He's an outsider." She might as well just have said: "He's a boy and he's got cooties." Geez. I like to know how, if she's lived in the small village her entire life, does she know how to pluck her eyebrows and put her makeup on flawlessly?

And how is it that she can keep Joe safe for twelve years then as soon as Gregg knows the rest of the world know too? Nothing makes sense. I expect more from Disney. What am I saying? Disney hasn't done anything worthwhile in a long time, with the exception of Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.

Grade: 4/10