The Matrix Reloaded

In the first scene of this movie Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) dies. YAY! Crap it's just a dream. Anyway. All the people who are hacking in the Matrix are meeting. They have been ordered to return to  Zion, their underground city, because there are 250 000 machines tunneling down towards it.  Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) wants one ship to stay just in case the Oracle (Gloria Foster) should make contact. Because she might have information concerning the One; also known as Neo (Keanu Reeves).  Not everybody believes in the prophecy, but one captain agrees. So the rest make their way to Zion.

Commander Lock (Harry Lennix), the guy in charge of the defenses of Zion is all pissed, because he needs all the ships he has. Mo said that he would have stayed himself but his ship needed refueling.  Neo asked Trinity what's all the tension between the two about, because it can never be as simple as someone pissed off because the other guys can't follow orders. No, that would be too simple; instead it is Niobe (Jada Pinkett Smith). She used to be with Mo, but now she's with Lock.  Blah.

We spend sometime in Zion where we see the new pilot's family. His name is Link (Harold Perrineau), he's married to Zee (Nona Guay) who is the sister of Tank and Dozer from the first film. Apparently they are both dead. Huh? I guess Tank didn't survive his wounds.  The only other thing  that happens in Zion is a giant orgy thing when everybody dances, while Trinity and Neo have sex. Feel free to skip this part. I did.  When this part is over we see the ship that stayed. They are running from an agent and have gotten word from the Oracle. One makes it out and the other, Bane (Ian Bliss), is corrupted by none other that Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving). Apparently after Neo killed him, he didn't go to robot heaven but stayed in the Matrix.

Neo and the gang head back to the Matrix to see the Oracle. There's a really cool fight scene between Neo and Seraph (Collin Chou)  the Oracle's protector. They then go through a back door in the program. After some blah blah with the Oracle about destiny and junk like that she tells him to go to the source of the Matrix but he need the Keymaker (Randall Duk Kim) to do that. He is being held captive by Merovingian (Lambert Wilson), who is an out of date program in the Matrix that chose to stay instead of being deleted. After she leaves Agent Smith shows up. Well about a hundred of him and there is what could possibly be the worst fight ever! There are movies I've given a 0 that had better fight scene then this piece of junk. And it just keeps going !! It won't end!

When it's finally over they head over to Merovingian. After a long scene about cause and effect, he won't give up the Keymaker, but since he's going to bang some chick in the ladies room, his wife Persephone (Monica Bellucci), brings them to the Keymaker. After, of course she demands a passionate kiss from Neo. Trinity is pissed, not that you can tell from her face. Why do none of the main actors have facial expressions?! Why?!

Anyway, Merovingian catches them and his henchmen attack in a cool  fight scene, but it goes on way too long. It leads into a car chase scene that also goes on too long. Finally they get away thanks to Niobe and another ship that came to look for them. Then they make a plan to get Neo to go to the source. Only he first meets the Architect (Helmut Bakaitis). He says a lot of crap that took me a second time to get it all. Basically, the Matrix is a never ending loop. The One joins with the Source, chooses some people to rescue from the Matrix  after Zion has been destroyed to start again, because the One has some sort of reprogramming that the source needs to reboot the Matrix. Got that? Good. 

Neo doesn't believe him, and instead of going to the source, he goes to save Trinity, because she is about to die like she did at the beginning of the movie. Well, she doesn't. And Neo tells Mo that the prophecy was a lie, it was just the Matrix continuing the cycle. We also find out that Bane sabotaged a bunch of ships that seriously hindered Zion's defenses and oh yeah, Neo can control the machines outside of the Matrix and now is in a coma, the end.

I really hated this movie, and I'll tell you why. I got so sick of watching Mo, Trinity and Neo run around with no human emotions. They are in the Matrix, fine, but they aren't machines.  Everything about them pissed me the hell off. Data the android was more entertaining then they were and he wasn't supposed the have any emotions. And what the hell were they wearing?! The black leather look went out with the first movie. Time for upgrades people.

The whole movie was very choppy. It started and stopped so many times. There was a really cool fight scene and then an incredibly boring talking scene, really cool fight scene that lasted way too long and made you bored, then another really dull talking scene. The worse thing about the fight sequences was that you knew when they used CGI. It was so obvious and badly done. And why did they go to slow motion in the middle of an action scene or an explosion. That doesn't make it more entertaining.

But what really got me was that Merovingian did not sound French. His accent was awful and left for words at a time. But the worst thing is that the actor was born in France! One would think he would have a sexy French accent, but no, as crappy as the rest of the movie.

Grade: 5.5/10