Shrek the Third

As we open this film we see Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) riding off (with his very bouncy hair) to save a princess that is locked up in the highest tower blah blah blah. We've seen this, I know, but it turns out that Charming is in a very bad play. After he gets laughed off the stage he vows to become King of all Far Far Away. So he recruits an army from all the fairy tale villains and misfits that all want their own 'happily ever after' that they've been denied.

Meanwhile in Far Far Away itself, Shrek (Mike Myres) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) are filling in for the sick King Harold (John Cleese). Shrek hates it because he can't handle a few banquets and stuff. Okay now I really hate this scene because they completely mess with the progression of costumes. Most of the men are sporting 12th century clothes and the women are in 15th century Renaissance dresses and then they stick Fiona and Shrek in a mix of 12th, 15th and 17th century dress. What the hell!? Okay that probably pisses me and like two other people off, and I know it's fantastical, but it's a fantastical version of our world (they made that quite clear with all that Ye Old Foot Locker junk) at least they can just pick one century and stick with it. Is that so hard to ask.

Continuing on, Shrek wants to leave and head back to the swamp, but unfortunately the King dies. Before he croaks (get it? Croaks? 'Cuz he's a frog? ahem, excuse me) he gives the throne to Shrek, 'cuz heaven forbid he gives it to Fiona his actual child. Anyway since Shrek doesn't want it he goes off to find the only other living heir, Fiona's cousin Arthur Pendragon. (Justin Timberlake) Huh? He's not from a fairy tale, he's a legend based on a dude that lived in the Roman times.  You know what, who cares.

While they are gone Charming and his army of cast offs invade Far Far Away. Then he...throws a play? Dude didn't your mother teach you anything? What kind of an evil plan is that? Well, to make a long story short, actually the movie wasn't that long, but anyway good guys win, bad guy loses, Artie becomes king after he learns the true meaning of...something and Shrek and Fiona go back to their swamp. The end.

The only thing this movie had going for it was the fact that it was funny. The plot was really dumb. I mean, come on. Who takes over an entire Kingdom to perform a play? And did Charming really think the audience was going to applaud? You took over their home! They're not going to clap unless you're dying. The plot was just really weak, sometimes bordering on stupid. Luckily it was witty and entertaining enough to keep me going to they end. But thank god it was short. If it had been any longer I wouldn't have made it.

Overall, I think the characters are getting a little stale but it's still good for a laugh.

Grade: 5/10