Legion of the Dead

I have no idea what happened in this movie. I spent the entire time asking what the hell was going on. As far as I can tell two friends William (Michael Carr) and Luke (Russell Friedenberg) are meeting a third friend, Joe (Joe Cook), somewhere but none of the three friends owns a car, or the means to rent a car because they are walking. Through the desert.  With no water. Smart. Will and Luke get kidnapped by some psycho killer guy - I'm serious, the character's name is Psycho Mike (Christopher Kriesa) - and are eventually rescued by Joe and end up in a small town where there are weird things happening. Apparently there have been a number of suicides and disappearances but no one has informed the police.

We, being the lucky ones, know what is going on. Two minions are going around killing people collecting souls for an army of dead for their leader, who is called throughout the entire movie Blond Guy (Matthias Hues). One of the two minions is what is supposed to be (I think) the comic relief of the movie, but failed miserably. Because if he wasn't the comic relief then his acting was even worse than what I thought. Actually the Blond Guy was funnier with all his exaggerated hand gestures, crappy dialogue and a throne surrounded by two inches of water. Yeah, I don't get it either.

There is also Geena (Kimberly Liebe) the waitress at the bar that the three friends stumble into. She is also a demon of some sort. That's about where I got confused. A bunch of other things happen.  Demons attack the bar and Will and Luke fight them off along with the cook and some guy called Peter (Darren Shahlavi). Joe is killed and another guy is badly wounded. Geena wants to help him and turn him into what she is. I have no idea what she is. There's a scene where she actual explains what she is and why Blond Guy is after her, but it made zero sense what so ever. Something about her being the last of her kind and something about an anti-vaccine. I don't know! She tries to help the guy, but he goes rabid and kills his girlfriend and then himself.

Then another woman gets infected and she kills Peter and they kill her and I have no idea what happens to Luke. He's there one second and the next he's gone and Will is writhing on the ground. Blond Guy shows up and Geena kills him and then is starts to turn Will into whatever she is and then the bar is back to normal. Wait, what? Nothing happened. Joe and Luke are alive and the three leave. I can't even comment on that. It was completely random and made no sense. None at all.

Nothing in this made sense. At one point Geena's all "but I love him" and I was like: "What the hell? You've known him for all of thirty seconds." There were scenes that had nothing to do with the film and other scenes that were supposed to be humorous but weren't.

This movie was just so bad. It wasn't even funny bad, just awful. The acting was terrible the plot made no sense at all. It was incoherent and stupid. I just want to scream obscenities at the film, that's how horrible it was.

The sad thing is that they tried to explain things in the movie. There were scenes of explanation but they left me more confused and angry.

Grade: 0/10