Indiana Jones and the  Kingdom of he Crystal Skull

The movie starts with some soldiers drag racing some teenagers. When that pointlessness is over the soldiers head over to a army base and shoot their way in. They pass a sign that shows the audience that they have ventured into Area 51. They pull into a hangar and they pull two people out of a trunk. One is none other than Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) and the other is his friend Mac (Ray Winstone). The soldiers, lead by Col. Dr. Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) are all Russian and have 'enlisted' the held of Jones to find a mysterious crate somewhere in the hangar that Jones did some research on a few years ago. Having no choice, Jones finds them the crate. We get a glimpse inside of something that doesn't look quiet human before the Colonel Doctor closes it and puts it on the truck. Jones begins an escape plan, only to be betrayed by Mac, but he still gets out anyway. Then he wanders into the fake city where the government is about to conduct a nuclear test. Fortunately Jones jumps into a lead lined fridge and miraculously survives the blast and the subsequent landing.

He is found by the US government and warned that he is going to be watched because he might be a 'Red'. He heads home, but is fired from the University and right when he is about to leave the country is recruited by Mutt Williams (Shia LeBeouf). He is looking for his mother and his friend Ox (John Hurt). Ox is an old friend of Jones and he agrees to help the greaser kid.  Mutt gives him a letter from Ox, which is coded.  Ox was working on something involving crystal skulls, something that Jones is aware of, and he explains it to Mutt. It is a little convoluted involving the Ugha tribe and  El Dorado (or Akator), and 16th century explorer; Francisco de Orellana, who was trying to find Akator. The two of them head down to Peru and find clues from Ox. They follow the clues to Orellana's grave were they find a skull, made from a single piece of crystal. They are then captured by the Soviets and brought to their base where they are united with Ox and Mutt's mother Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), Jones' ex-lover.

Spalko explains to everyone that the skulls are from an alien race that can unlock psychic powers, exposure to the skull has made Ox go crazy so they sent the letter to Mutt, knowing that he would go to Jones and that they can use Jones to figure out what Ox is blabbing on about. They eventually escape with Mac, who explains he is a double agent working for the CIA, but he is lying. He leaves a trail for the Soviets to follow as Jones leads them to El Dorado.  They find a room where there are alien skeletons (one is missing a skull) and the Soviets show up just in time so Spalko can place the skull in its place, unlocking their knowledge. The following scene is a little weird when all the skeletons merge into a living alien, but it ends with the Soviets getting killed along with Mac and the good guys getting out. They all retune home, where Jones gets his job back and he and Marion get married.

Aliens? Really? Seriously? That's just....weird.  This whole movie was a little off, starting right at the beginning with Jones surviving the trip in the refrigerator right to the end with all of them surviving three waterfalls. No way in hell could that ever happen. There's also this scene where Mutt is swinging through the jungle followed by a bunch of monkeys who somehow do his bidding by attacking Spalko.  I laughed outright at the ridiculousness of that scene. It just felt so contrived and stupid. Even Marion and Indiana's wedding didn't feel right.

There was just something unbelievable about this entire movie, that has nothing to do with the aliens, which in itself was a little odd. I found I couldn't get into it because it was so out  there and nothing like the feel of the earlier movies. It's a shame really because the acting was exceptional and the action scenes were awesome, and the car chases were, well, not the greatest, but were still cool. I had a problem with Mutt turning out to be Jones' son, but it wasn't unexpected, since it is cliché and predictable. It would've been more surprising (and believable) if he wasn't Henry Jones III.

The plot got a little hard to follow with so much exposition, or I just stopped caring halfway through the movie, I can't be sure.    

Grade: 5/10