Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse in Love

There's this nurse, Nurse Patsy (Ann Day-Jones) who is the social outcaste of the hospital; she is jealous that Doctor Dox (Karl Gerhardt) just asked Nurse Goodie (Samatha Slan) to marry him. Patsy and Dox used to go out in high school but they broke up because she wasn't suitable to be the girlfriend of a medical school student... whatever that means.

Meanwhile, a woodcutter (Eric Kendric) chopped down a tree and found some kind of animal in it. He places it in his hat and brings it home. We don't actually get to see it so I don't know what it is. Anyway it bites him and some time later we see him stumble down to the hospital with an ax in his head and weird spots all over his face. He falls for Patsy and bites her hand before he is killed by the mechanic Kapotski (Roland Laroche) who knows that he was a zombie. That's right children! If you are walking in the woods and get bit by a mysterious animal Rabies is the least of your problems! You might turn into a zombie!

As days go by Pasty changes and becomes a little skanky, due to the virus flowing through her body ...or something. Anyway Dox gets horny every time he sees her and Goodie is getting jealous. Kapotski realizes that she is now a zombie and goes to kill her. Only she kills him first and eats his flesh. By eating the flesh of the living she stays non-decompose-y and sexy.  Goodie discovers Kapotski's book on zombies entitled (I'm not making this up) Zombies: A Modern Menace.

When Goodie tries to tell her fiancé and her father they think she's nuts, and why wouldn't they? So when she tries to kill Pasty they send her to the crazy house. Only she escapes, incredibly easily I might add, and goes back to kill Pasty. Unfortunately for her everyone else in the hospital are now zombies. Oops.

Okay, where to begin with this little gem? First of all it's a Canadian B movie. Which basically means it's supposed to be cheesy. But there's cheesy and then there's cheesy and this is definitely closer to the second one. The acting is completely over the top and the voices don't match up to the people's lips. Now I realize this is due to the fact that it was filmed originally to be a silent film and the sound was added later, but it was still awful.

I found there were a lot of problems with the plot. I don't like how Goodie was not taken seriously by anyone. Okay not about Patsy being a zombie, but she shows her father pictures of Patsy and Dox having a very romantic dinner in Patsy's apartment and he doesn't care. In fact, right after, he gives the head nurse position to Patsy. What? Your soon to be son in law is possibly having an affair and you don't care? What the Hell?

The entire movie was just strange and I guess if you like really weird horror movies you might like this one, but it was just too crappy for me to enjoy. It wasn't even scary. Not at all.  If you want to make a cheesy zombie movie at least make it funny, but it wasn't even funny. It was just dumb.

Grade: 3/10